5 Steps to Healing from Negative Relationship Energy

Relationships are a key component of the human experience. Some relationships exist implicitly, such as those with family members or coworkers. Other relationships are sought out and forged by us as we travel along our respective paths, making friends and engaging with our communities. Whatever the context of the relationship, whether someone is set to be in your life forever, or they come and go with a quickness, you can help to keep the energy that exists between you healthy.

The following is an energy healing exercise I learned from a dear mentor of mine at A Place of Light in Massachusetts. This exercise can be used both for when you feel like you need to remove negative energetic connections with a person who is no longer in your life OR with someone who is still in your life with whom you have had (or are having) issues.

CLARIFICATION: This does not have to be someone you want to end ALL connection with, but rather can literally be used with anyone in your life with whom you have an ongoing negative energy loop. Sometimes this happens most with those nearest and dearest to us!

You may have heard the expression "cut the tape" or "cut the thread" in reference to severing ties with past traumas or negative/draining/unhealthy relationships. The problem with cutting or severing the energetic ties between you and another is that this only cuts the immediate connection while leaving either end of that connection still rooted in each person! Over time, that snipped strand can simply reform, as the roots of the energy still exist and grow out from both people.

In order to truly dissolve a negative connection, we must do more than pull out our energetic scissors. Try these steps and see if you can feel what a difference they make!

NOTE: Before you begin, find a safe, quiet place that you can sit or lie down and focus inward.

1. Close your eyes and think of the person with whom you have an issue. (The issue can be large or small; it need not necessarily be a deep trauma for this exercise to be effective, though of course it's great for that, too.) Allow yourself to focus completely on this person and your connection to them.

2. As you tune into this connection, notice where on your body you feel the energy. It may clearly be one place, or you may feel it in more than one location.

3. Once you have located a place on your body where you feel the energy is rooted, imagine yourself gently removing the entire source of this energy burden from your body. You may even physically use your hands to do this, imagining that your fingers extend energetically far beyond your physical hands and into your body to remove the unwanted energy and all its roots. Take your time doing this and doing it gently. As you pull the energy out, have the intention that it dissolves completely into the pure energy of Love and Light and harms no one or nothing.

NOTE: There is no need to use your hands in step 3, but do what feels right for you. You may also just recognize the energy blockage and ask that the source of all Love and Light remove it completely, and then smile and allow it to be so! :)

4. Once you sense that the negative energy and its root system have been completely removed, intend that the space left behind be filled up completely with pure Love and Light energy and then allow it to be so. Again, take time here. Let yourself be filled back up by the universal source of all Love! Once you sense that this spot has achieved balance, you can move on to the next spot, if any, associated with this same energetic connection.

NOTE: Do not move on to removing other negative energy connections on your body from other issues yet! Only if you feel that the energetic connection you focused on in step 1 touched your body in more than one location should you move on to that other location. To explore additional negative energy issues, wait until you have completed step 5 before returning to step 1.

5. After all the energy blockages and roots associated with this issue are gone from your body and each place is filled back up with Love and Light, turn your attention to the other person with whom you have (had!) an issue. While doing so, take the time you need to allow yourself to remain in a place of pure Love and Light while you observe this other person's energy. Begin to notice where the energy of the issue resides in the other person's body. Once you notice where the connection lives in them...

IMPORTANT: Ask permission!

Yes, I realize you are sitting or laying here in a meditative state, so how can you ask this person's permission? What if it's someone who isn't even in your life anymore? What if they are no longer living in a physical body?? It doesn't matter. Stay present with that Love and Light shining from your heart and your whole being and allow your energetic/spirit body to ASK their energetic/spirit body for permission to remove the blockage. Be patient with this, too. Allow the answer to come. It may come quickly, but it may not.

How can you tell what a "NO" feels like? This will come through in different ways for different people. In my experience, a NO feels like a sense of resistance or an energetic push back... any kind of energetic dissonance, really. When I feel anything at all that is not a clear openness to receive healing, I pause and wait. I imagine my energetic body holding out the offering of healing to their energetic body... doing nothing but offering... and I wait. Then, I ask again. It has been the rare case where I have ever gotten a repeated NO. Whatever that person might say to you with their physical body if you offered them healing, their highest self most often recognizes and accepts the need for healing. So, even if you get a repeated NO, consider trying again later. And if all you ever get is NO, you must honor where that person is at this time. It is not up to you to determine when they are ready; all you can do is allow the complete release of that issue's energy from your own body and offer their spirit the same. Give the issue completely to the source of Love and Light and ask that the healing be complete for both of you.

If you get a YES, gently intend for the source of all Love and Light to remove all the energy of that blockage in the other person's body, including all of its roots. Set your intention and shine the Love and Light from your heart as you allow the Love to heal the blockage in the other person. When you sense it has been removed, ask that Love and Light fill up the space left behind in that person, then sit back and smile from your heart and let it be so!

Ahhhhhhh... :)

BONUS STEP: Rinse and repeat for the next issue on your list! Check in with yourself about any other pressing issues that have taken root. Smile, and know that healing is possible. :)

P.S. Please read the comment section for info about how my own most recent healing went... and be sure to tell me about your experience!